Diligence
by shellalana
Summary: The gang is on Sanctuary 3 and Mordecai's having thinky thoughts.


Mordecai was always diligent. Paying attention to the details had become second nature to him. The smallest things always ended up being the biggest. It came easy when he spent hours upon hours just watching people through the scope of his rifle.

He was diligent with keeping timetables in his mind. Diligent about making plans down to the letter so that nothing was ever missed. He took his job seriously, now that they were down a few numbers.

He was diligent about remembering them too. Pierce, Roland, Bloodwing... he kept the anniversaries of their deaths in his mind, made his way to their memorials to pay their respects.

This year, it wouldn't be that way. This year, they were leaving Pandora. And that made him sick to his stomach.

He didn't want to think about leaving them behind, to move on without them. To leave them on that backwater planet, in a place they weren't even born on. It just wasn't fair.

He diligently knotted the cord around his fingers from which Bloodwing's feathers hung. It was what he used to keep his dreads tied back, and now they hung loosely around his shoulders.

He'd pulled himself out of his drunken stupor after struggling with it for so long. He'd found his place on Pandora again... only to leave it. That left him floundering, his daily schedules being cast to the wind. The diligence he'd found to keep his life in order meant nothing now.

The chaotic static of his thoughts came to a halt when he felt the heavy weight of a large hand on his shoulder. Mordecai closed his eyes in both gratitude and to still himself. He didn't need to see to know who it was.

"You look like one of those dads in the waiting room, waiting for his wife to give birth."

"You volunteering...?" Mordecai snorted at the thought of a pregnant Brick. He chewed on the inside of his cheek knowing how much bitching Brick would do if that ever became possible.

His comment earned him a light slap to the back of his head and a harsh tsk. Getting Brick riled up with anything other than battle was always amusing to him.

"You been at the back of this ship by yourself too much, Mordy. At least come and look out the front window with the others."

"I don't wanna see where we're goin'." Mordecai cast a glance over his shoulder towards the back wall, towards the ship's thrusters. Towards everything they were leaving behind.

"You can't keep thinking like that." Brick's rough thumb caught Mordecai by the chin and directed his gaze forward once more. "You don't wanna end up there again."

Brick meant his drinking, and Mordecai chuffed at the thought he would even suggest it. Hadn't he proven himself already? Hadn't he shown he had the resolve to not become the drunk once more? When was everyone going to stop tiptoeing around him like this?

"I don't need you peering over my shoulder all the time, Brick. I'm a big boy, remember?" His tone was more harsh than he intended. He worried at his lip before he said something else stupid.

Brick's expression soured as his hand fell away.

"Just cuz you're the oldest fart here _don't _mean you don't need people looking out for you. So stop being a bitch about it."

"I'm not-"

"_You are_." Brick stood suddenly, his hands balled at his side. "Ever since we left, you've been nothing but mopey. We finally got off that wretched planet, the thing we've been trying to do for years now, and you're not happy. I'm tired of trying to figure you out, Mordecai, because I thought we'd finally worked things out. You keep finding some dumbass reason to be sad about shit when this should be the best time of our lives!" He threw his hands up in the air and started pacing around the small space. His heavy boots rang against the metal grating on the floor and Mordecai could see that if he kept it up, he was going to punch a wall to make himself feel better.

Maybe Brick was partly right. They were going somewhere new, on a new ship with new badasses who were going to help them sort things out. Looking for new Vaults, taking on new enemies... all of this should put him on Cloud Nine. Instead, he was sulking at the back of the ship like Tina with no explosives.

And yet, being happy about it still didn't feel right. Like moving on without everyone who'd brought them to this point amounted to spitting in their faces. And that's not how he wanted to think of them.

"Brick, I'm gonna be fifty in a couple of years. You don't get to my age without seeing a lot of shit. And I've _seen_ a lot of shit, _survived a lot of shit_. Believe me, I can hardly sleep at night thinking about what we're gonna find when we get to wherever we're going... but I'm old, man. Is this all that's gonna be for me? Is this all I'm gonna be good for? Shootin' shit? Ya get halfway to a hundred and you start to think maybe some o'your choices were a waste..." Mordecai undid the clip at the back of his leather mask and dragged the thing off his face. The sudden rush of cool air against his skin sent a shiver down his spine and his eyes definitely felt more tired. He stared down at the ugly leather thing he hid behind before letting it slip from his fingers.

Brick didn't let it sit for too long before he snatched it up and pressed it into the Truxican's hands.

"Nothing's a waste if we're here, Mordy. I can't think of any place I'd rather be than here, being with my best bud." He lowered himself to one knee and took Mordecai by the shoulders.

"Even if you _are_ old as dirt."

Mordecai tried not to smile, knowing that that was exactly what Brick wanted. He wanted to stew in his sour mood and smack Brick in the face for such an "insult," even if it was true. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Don't let anyone ever tell you you're a charmer," he said with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah? Then why're your cheeks so red?"

"Cállate, estúpido."

"Make me."

That smug little twisted grin of Brick's was met with a harsh kiss, Mordecai's fist balled up in the front of his shirt, before he roughly pushed him away. That wasn't enough to make the grin go away, though.

"You're an idiot."

"And you're still a bitch. Let's go look at nav and you can teach me about all those stars we're zooming past."


End file.
